Largest.org ranks the heavenly Brahma breed at number two, which can average around 10 pounds. There have been reports of these birds winging their way up to 18 pounds also, which isn't too surprising based on this report from CNN, citing video of a bird three feet tall and more internet famous than you could ever hope to be. Still, we haven't cracked the top contender in terms of average size.

The true "rex goliath" of domesticated fowl is the Jersey Giant, which sounds as much like the nickname of an amateur Garden State boxer as a chicken breed. Considering that it could likely beat most of us up, it seems pretty fitting. 

These beaked behemoths have been known to "cluck in" at up to 15 pounds and over two feet in height, putting them firmly at the top of the pecking order. While not the greatest egg-layers in the world, they make up for it by being total gentle giants, friendly and even playful around children. Basically, imagine if you covered Hagrid in feathers and had him walking around your yard eating chicken feed instead of rock cakes and you'll know exactly what it's like to live with one of these monstrous fowls. Except, whereas Hagrid was just a half-giant, Jersey Giant chickens are full on, 100 percent gargantuan.